I’m always pitching the idea of compassion for the person recovering from an addiction. However, I can also be harsh when dealing with an addict that doesn’t want let go of the Addiction. It may seem like a huge contradiction; why would I be so harsh when I preach compassion?
Well, it’s no contradiction at all, really. I’ve walked the roads involved in Addiction for the better part of my life and I can say, certainly, that Addiction splits a person between humanity and a malevolent force. To me, The Addict is NOT a person, but that malevolent force that drives a person towards certain destruction. In the borderlands of personality, The Addict and the person who hosts it are in a battle for control of a person’s soul. As The Addict takes control, the person becomes more and more lost within the force that drives his or her behavior. The Addict doesn’t care about a person’s nationality, socioeconomic status, age, or gender; all the The Addict cares about is consuming souls.
When a person behaves under the control of The Addict, he or she is deceptive and manipulative and values only those who assist in feeding The Addict’s impulses. That’s why I can appear harsh when dealing with The Addict: I know the force and I know it can be beaten, but the host person has to fight like hell to regain control of his or her own soul. There are those cases that the person has to be confronted with the fact that he or she is losing his or her soul and has to wake up and shake away the shackles in which The Addict has bound him or her.
Since The Addict is a force, everyone who succumbs to it behaves pretty much that same way, even if their process or substance to which they are addicted is different. Also, since it’s a force, people around the person can get sucked into the desperation and fear associated with the destruction that The Addict’s force generates.
But when a person realizes that he or she wants to reclaim his or her own soul, recovery can begin. Because there is usually so much detritus left in The Addict’s wake, the person in recovery NEEDS compassion and love. Soul reclamation is not easy nor is it for faint of heart. It takes time to regain humanity after it was lost to The Addict. Patience is key; as is understanding that it may take a while for The Addict to have been fully evicted.
Therefore, because I know the distinction between the person and The Addict, I can speak and behave in seemingly contradictory ways. But I don’t. Not really. I just know that some people WANT to lose control to The Addict and no matter how much we want the person back, that person who loves The Addict will stop at nothing to fulfil The Addict’s need. There is nothing I, or anybody else, can do to reclaim someone else’s soul. Only when the person is ready to fight for his or her own soul can recovery begin.