My son and I were arguing about which device could take a better picture; either my Nikon D3300 or his iPhone 6s. The rules were simple: we’d find a subject, snap some pics, and then ask a couple of people which pic was best. We settled upon this flower and snapped a few shots each.
Well, needless to say, I won (the winning pic is the one at the top of this message). But what was cool about the exercise was how engaged we both were with a simple flower. This type of engagement is part of what gets lost within an addiction. Real engagement and authentic relationships are lost when Addiction takes over a person’s soul. Yet, treatment programs still insist on focusing on drug-related behavior. I think this focus is stupid and potentially dangerous because when Addiction is a process of drug-focus. How can someone stop doing something when all of the “tools’ they learn is about the thing they aren’t supposed to do. To me, it’s a lot like telling someone NOT to think of a pink elephant and then EXPECTING that they won’t.
Rather, we need to build real engagement and authentic relationships. Not just for those in recovery, but for all of us. We all need to eliminate our mental filters that prevent us from experiencing simple moments within which we are fully present. While I was taking the pictures of the flower, I had no other thoughts but those of capturing the light around the orange petals. My son, who is usually as distracted as most teenagers are, was just as focused and present as I was.
So, I recommend that if you want someone to get into treatment, perhaps you could find something in which you could lose the fear you have for your loved one. Look for moments in which drugs aren’t consuming your own mental energy. From a treatment perspective, there may be nothing healthier you could do…