There was a time in my life in which I wished there was a roadmap to success that someone would give me and all I’d have to do is follow its course and success would emerge. But, there was no such roadmap and no one who held that knowledge. At least, there wasn’t anything or anyone that was obvious to me. The reality, though, was that I was given that roadmap; it’s just taken me my entire adult life to figure it out.
I’ve struggled with what most would call Anxiety for almost all of my life. More specifically, I’ve gone through what could be described as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. To this day, when I’m in certain situations, I have a hard time focusing and get this overwhelming sensation to move around. The blood in my veins actually gets hot and my arms and legs fell like they’re buzzing. When I was young, I didn’t understand these “feelings” and I honestly thought there was something wrong with me. When I finally talked with a Doctor about these sensations, he put me on meds and actually taking those stupid drugs is among the great regrets of my life.
My regret isn’t based upon any distaste for pharmaceuticals (which I do have), but more that I didn’t know what the hell was really going on inside of me. I really wasn’t aware of the possibility that I was just “sensing” energy that was around me. Because I wasn’t aware of it, I “absorbed” it and didn’t “process” it and channel it. It was like a dam built inside of me and the energy backed up and backed up until I couldn’t take it and had to relieve it in one way or another.
But the reality is that I am sensitive to the energy that surrounds me. And I’ve learned that many people that are addicted to substances are also sensitive to the energy that surrounds them. It’s just that they, like I used to be, are unaware of their sensitivity. It takes time and practice to learn to process the energy sensed. The best way that I have found is to pick up a pen and write.
I’ll never really understand why more people don’t write; for me, it’s the best way to focus the mind and organize my sometimes chaotic thoughts. Once I start the flow, sometimes, it can be hard to stop, but I can almost feel energy being redirected as the black marks start overtaking the white pages. Whats more is that I can also feel my heart rate slow as my mind settles into the pinpointed thoughts. If I could get anyone to do one thing, it would be to get into the habit of keeping a personal journal into which he or she would vent things that they may not otherwise be able to say.
So, in my wishful thinking, I would offer personal and reflective writing as the first step within a roadmap to success. I’ve been very lucky to have overcome so many adverse emotional conditions; I think the roadmap is possible to define because of my experiences. The pen is the first tool towards real success…..