A key concept within the Catholic faith is the communion of saints. This communion is between the living and the souls within purgatory and the saints within heaven. For me, the communion of saints is what got me through adolescence.
When I was twelve, my great-grandmother died. I was absolutely devastated when she passed; there were times when I wasn’t sure how I would ever be ok without her. But as I learned more about my faith, I realized that she I and would always be spiritually together, as long as I believed in the communion of saints. I found comfort in this concept and every time I attend a funeral, I am reminded of just how important this spiritual communication is and can be.
I honestly believe that in many ways, I’ve sought to experience the communion with all those souls who have died every time I’ve done something that Maslow would consider a “peak experience.” As a matter of fact, I’ve always sought a “key” to really accessing that part of me what is connected to all that’s good and strong and beautiful, as that’s what I perceive as the link between the natural reality and the supernatural reality. Sometimes, I think I’ve found it and just as soon as I feel it, I lose it. It’s quite frustrating.
Many years ago, I would smoke some bud and then sit down pounding away at the keyboard. I’ve always heard that weed can improve creativity and so I smoked as a way to really write. I struggle with ADHD and focus has always been a problem for me. There are times, though, when I can write through a natural flow; during those spurts, I feel connected to some force that drives me and carries words across the page. I have no doubt that in those times, I am also communing with saints and all of those souls that have completed their trip through the natural reality. Most importantly for me, I feel my grandmother’s presence in those moments when I can access flow – it is through my writing that I feel spiritually awake and connected.
Weed never really did what it was advertised to do for me. Prayer and meditation, especially when I run, do allow my mind to wander healthily. It’s just that I can’t really capture my mental wanderings and I become frustrated with my weaknesses and inabilities. But then, I attend Mass and I remember that the communion of saints is the real key to flowing and experiencing all that’s good and strong and beautiful. I don’t need to do anything else but allow my humanity to freely express itself, through writing, and I can reconnect as my faith ensures.