I’m a middle-ager who’s spent the huge majority of his adult life designing, building, and implementing large-scale software systems. And I am grateful for always having work and being able to do my work well. The software world has allowed me to live a comfortable life and provide for my family. So, I am thankful that I have had the career that I’ve. However…
I still have dreams. Several years ago, I was sitting down with a professor discussing the likelihood of my attending a PhD program in Language and SocioCultural studies. When he and I were talking, he asked my career goals to which I responded, “You know, all I’ve ever wanted to do was play my guitar and write.” I don’t remember where the conversation went nor did I ever apply for the program. But what I said still rings true.
Playing the guitar was always my safe space. I would lose myself in the notes that emanated from my amplifier as I imitated Eddie Van Halen. Time would pass without me ever noticing it – I missed many dates and parties because I was locked in my room making guitar noise. Some of it made sense, some of it didn’t, but neither way, I’ve always loved to play. Still do.
Additionally, I’ve always loved books and stories. So much so that I practice writing, to this day. I’ve written and published four books and given readings (at some of which I’ve also played guitar). One of my books has even won a regional award. But, I’ve never really made a living at writing and although I’ve gigged out, I can’t say that i’ve ever been able to pay my mortgage based upon my playing. Software work has always paid the bills and I suspect it will until I retire.
But I still dream that one day, someone will pick up the options to my books and I can then open a guitar shop where I can repair and maintain guitars. That’s the dream, really. I don’t want to play for a living, but I would like to have a little guitar enterprise.
I’ve recently purchased a guitar kit that I have to put together (i bought the kit from this company). It’s a training thing, really. I’ve adjusted and maintained my own guitars and I’ve always wanted to build one from scratch. While the and neck were assembled and pre-drilled, it will be a massive exercise to get it all together. It’s daunting, but if I’m ever to open a guitar shop, I should be able to make one from raw wood. This project is a first big step towards that end.
Who knows if i’ll ever have a guitar and shop. Plus, the likelihood of anyone ever buying options to my books is pretty low. But even a middle-ager can dream….even while I write my one millionth like of code….
