Gossip is common. The thing is, though, , if a group of people doesn’t the same person, that group of people tends to be strongly bonded. Sounds basic: The enemy of my enemy and all that, right? What I didn’t realize is that gossip is a channel through which negative emotions spread like wildfire.
Research indicates that, not only is disliking others bonding, but it’s also contagious. Emotional contagion is a real thing and spreads through groups of people faster than a viral infection. The mechanism through which negative emotion spreads is gossip. In today’s world of instant information, negative emotions grow and spread and before anyone is even aware of having caught the negativity, they’ve bonded with others simply over dislike. While this may seem quite obvious, understanding how emotional contagion works can inoculate people, which is really my hope.
To me, bonding over disliking someone doesn’t yield anything helpful. While sharing negative thoughts can appear to be intimate, when two people dive into a negative energy pool, they both suffer. Furthermore, when people are apt to share negative emotions, research actually indicates that they become repellant to strangers. This means that, while people do bond over disliking someone, they actually become toxic to other people, much like zombies.
The same research does also indicate, however, that sharing positive emotions is also contagious. The thing is, positive sharing doesn’t become toxic. It’s not as salient or as strongly bonding, however, because the core variable at stake is self-esteem. That is, when people share negative emotions about others, they tend to gain self-esteem because they feel better than the disliked person. This increase in self-esteem at the expense of others is easy because, well, people like talking negatively about others.
Therefore, people bond over disliking someone, but only in their limited group. They actually become toxic to strangers and are viewed negatively. So, the question we have to ask ourselves is, do we want to feel good about ourselves at someone else’s expense, or do we want to spread positivity? In looking around, it seems people are hell-bent to remain stuck with their friends in a pool of hate. I pray and hope that people learn that this pool of hate is actually more hurtful to themselves.
(The study I cite is here:)
