Why are we so stupid and blind? Why is there such a tendency to pretend as though our biological and social programming don’t determine so much of how we turn out? Genetics and upbringing combine to form our “identity” so much so that in order to redirect this identity, we must focus and become immensely aware of this formed identity and then act to redirect it. However, our core programming cannot be changed.
There are so many stupid slogans like, “if you can think it, you can become it” or “You are only as happy as you make your mind to be.” These types of platitudes are simply ridiculous to me. Our “minds” are composed of aspects that we neither control nor understand. Yet, there’s this stupid illusion that, if we simply think positively, we will somehow become happy and successful. How stupid.
I’ve spent several years studying opioid and alcohol use disorders. I really wish that the idea of personal choice was real. But it’s not. Once physical dependence to substances occurs, basic human biology is changed and structured in such a way as to form into near permanence. Furthermore, when we account for the biological and social programming that occurred prior to the first use, it should make absolute sense that someone would become entrapped within an opioid or alcohol use disorder. Really, in order to find health, we need to understand our programming and then “reprogram” those structures as best we can.
Often, however, it’s not so easy to just “think” or “pray” away our family or friends. Most of the time, the strongest relationships within someone’s life are the most toxic, yet they are maintained, either through emotional means or, sadly, economic means. These relationships often form the basis of our social programming and probably share a role in creating our biological programming (genetics) and it takes herculean efforts to redirect the nature of those relationships.
Yet, we continue to look at human life through the lens of the individual and forget just how much we aren’t really individuals at all. We are products of programming that we didn’t choose (although some may actually argue this point): we didn’t choose our parents (at least consciously), we didn’t choose our upbringing. We may reach adulthood and never really understand just how much our programming determined how we live.
If we want to find solutions to the problems that opioid or alcohol use disorders present, then we have to dig deeper and not see the afflicted as weak or as somehow “bad.” Life presents all of us events to which we must respond. If someone is genetically predisposed to an anxiety disorder and to “addiction,” and then that person grows up in an environment in which he doesn’t learn to trust his capabilities and there’s substance use within that environment, then there’s a really good chance that he will find himself with an substance use disorder.
If he, at some point, realizes that he wants to heal from the disorder, he will need to become aware of his genetics (biological programming) and development and then learn to redirect the effects of his programming every single day at an almost moment-to-moment basis. It’s possible, but it is difficult. Really, though, we all live pretty unaware lives and think that somehow we are the final arbiters of our destiny. Which is why we look down on those struggling with opioid and alcohol use disorders: Since we aren’t afflicted, we must think of ourselves as somehow “better.” But we simply don’t see that, while the means are different, we probably struggle within something that’s also the result of our own programming.
Behavioral change is possible, but it takes daily concentrated and focused understanding of things we may not understand. There are no external shortcuts to this understanding and no stupid slogans can provide anything but emotional tampons.
