We all tend to believe in our own concept of who we are that we almost always find our own arguments about something the most compelling. I think it’s a fact of human nature, really. But an addict really thinks his arguments about his drug use are the most correct. Heroin addicts have told me, “I wish people would just let me use heroin and leave me alone about it. It’s no different than drinking a beer after work.” The first time I heard that argument, while I was a bit impressed at the reasoning, the facts are that alcohol, however destructive, is legal and distilled in regulated factories. Heroin, however, is illegal and often cut with all kinds of crap; there’s almost never two identical batches of heroin on the streets.
However, I didn’t argue with him, even though I found my own argument the most compelling. He would have argued about the horrors of alcohol and call everyone who drinks it, “hypocrites” and only found reasons why he was right and I was wrong. Maybe I’ve learned something or maybe I’m too tired to argue, but I’ve realized that arguing only makes the resistance to changing all the stronger.
It is all counselors’ job to help clients transition from status quo to a healthier state, but that healthier state isn’t the counselor’s to define. It’s up to all of us to determine what’s in our own healthiest interests. There’s no one prescription towards health that works for everyone. I can safely say that those who think they have a singular method for a healthy life are simply promoting their own agenda for their own gain. A better approach, to me, is to not fight the arguments for using, but rather, help addicts find their own ways that they can have a healthier life and then let them argue for their own health.
We may want the addicts in our life to stop using their substances, but the reality is that the substances present a value and payoff and although we may not understand it, it’s up to every person to find payoffs for NOT using substances that they themselves defend. If I, or anyone else, tell a heroin addict to stop using heroin, there’s a good chance that all I’ll do is help him build his case for using it. I honestly believe that we all know what’s truly best for own health, it’s just a matter of finding it and then defending it. When we finally start down a healthier path, the need to use substances will diminish in time because the payoffs of health are far more valuable than using substances.
