Finding my center is important, as every day brings something stressful. Whether it’s work or just life in general, the needs of the day can overwhelm me. I can lose sight of myself, sometimes, and I think most people can relate. Life is busy and deadlines and commitments can blind us to our relationship with ourselves.
Lately, I find myself starting each day with a short walk to what I’ve come to call the “squirrel amphitheater.” This little place is home to several squirrels and is about a quarter mile walk from my house. I’ve been practicing a song called, Amor Eterno by Juan Gabriel. He wrote it in response to his beloved mother’s passing and with all that’s falling down around Santa Fe, I find this mournful song to fit my mood.
I play and sometimes, the squirrels watch. They probably don’t care much that I’m there. However, in my overactive imagination, they judge me like a bunch of long-tailed Simon Cowells. “You call that noise tone?” they ask in my mind.
Every once in a while, though, I could swear I see one of them smile when I’ve hit passage smoothly. It’s not often, as the sax is about as unforgiving an instrument as there is. But sometimes, I play without though and the tone actually sounds like I know what I’m doing.
Most of the time, if it wasn’t for the judgy little squirrels, I wouldn’t even know where I am when I’m playing. I lose all self-consciousness when I play and for better or worse, I am simply playing my sax without worrying about the stress the day will bring.
Really, in playing the arroyo as I have, I find that I am much more calm throughout the day. In practicing first thing, I find a center that carries throughout my day. Perhaps that’s what sef-care really is: a place where a person finds his or her center. Maybe in time practicing at the squirrel amphitheater will lose its effectiveness, but for now, it is mental health medicine 101. I pray everyone finds their center. The world would be a lot less nuts when we do…
