The other night, during my version of an intervention, a young wife said to me, “I can’t leave him. I want him to stop using, but i can’t just leave him.”
I didn’t give her words much thought before I said, “Maybe you can’t leave him, but you can change the space between your ears.” Sure, it’s hard to both deal with an addicted loved one’s behavior, and it’s just as difficult to leave them struggling with the Addiction. But, there is an option: Understand Addiction and Recovery and how you feel about it.
To me, it’s a no brainer; most of life is not about what happens, it’s more about how we perceive it. I’ve seen enormous crises going on within a family on one day, and the very next day, that same family will be together and acting as though nothing ever happened. The perceptions of the occurrence disappeared once the crises were resolved. Plus, if we can learn to understand our own feelings about things that happen, we may not respond with distress during crises.
Really, and this is my honest feeling: Reflective journaling about ANY topic will provide rich material from which a person can learn. In my new book, 49 Tips and Insights for Understanding Addiction, I include NO LESS than 150 reflective journaling exercises that really can build a strong foundation for understanding and managing feelings about Addiction. So, like the family that can flip a switch, I believe that in changing our percpetions through understanding, we can absolutely feel better about Addiction behavior.
There’s little doubt in my mind that if something is causing distress, digging into it will provide, at least, a measure of comfort. We may not be able to change our circumstances, but we ALL can change the way we perceive and respond to those circumstances. 49 Tips and Insights for Understanding Addiction really is a powerful tool that can help. To order: Click here.